dankmemes | Test Drive Meme #3

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open November 24th, and apps are open December 1st.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: GIMME A HUG
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

Watch out as you explore the streets of Hadriel, because you're not alone, and there's always something on the rooftops watching and waiting for the perfect opportunity to separate you from your group and tear you into pieces. This time, the Door has brought in a large slithering beast for you meet.

This Titanoboa is not the friendliest of snakes. Over fifty feet long, it requires quite a lot of meals in order to keep going, and it seems to be most interested in making you one of them. A giant anaconda, this is a constrictor rather than a venomous snake - but don't worry. It's got teeth, too, in case it needs to do a touch of nibbling. We're sure you'll get along just fine.]

SCENARIO TWO: THE DOCTOR IS IN
[You awaken on an operating table. How did you get here? What's going on? You don't remember checking into a hospital or seeing a doctor, and when you try to get up you quickly discover that your hands and legs are secured tightly to the table, the straps digging into your skin.

Next to the table is a tray of gleaming steel surgical instruments, their sharp blades glittering as the overhead light flickers. They seem to be the only clean thing in the room, as you begin to realize that the walls of this operating room are moldy and stained, and there's something dripping from the ceiling. This may not be a legitimate hospital at all.

There are footsteps outside the door. It could be a friend - or not. Will you call for help? Try to free yourself? Lay back and wait for the doctor to arrive?]

H O P E

SCENARIO THREE: HOPESGIVING
[You find yourself in a kitschy, brightly lit, utterly pleasant gift shop. Lining the shelves are all manner of stuffed animals, inspirational figurines, greeting cards, and delightful ornaments. Some even look familiar, like something you might have seen before.

The door isn't locked. You can just leave, if you want. But on a pedestal where the registers should be is a globe of glittering light, and within it, a picture of the person you care for most in the world. Carved on the pedestal are the words Bring someone hope, and you will bring them happiness.

Of course, you aren't alone in there. Will you find something on the shelves to show to your companion, something that might bring them hope? Or maybe you brought something from home. Or maybe you don't care at all, and just want to smash everything in there. It's all up to you.

This is a simplified version of this month's Hope event.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Welcome to the snowglobe party little War Pup. He grins huge because this is kind of the best thing ever.]

What's in them? How do you get it out?

[Can you drink it?]

Um, it's water and glitter, but I'm pretty sure it's sealed.

[Noah turns his over, very gently, to show that there's no obvious opening.]

If you open it the glitter and water get out and you can't shake it up anymore.

Oh.

[He turns his over as well. He wants the water.... but he also likes the glittery snow effect and apparently he can't have both. With a grunt of frustration he shakes it up again. Then puts the thing in one of the pockets of his pants.

It's huge and barely fits and drags his pants down on one side, but now it's his. Forever.]

How do they get the water into it?

[Onto the next aisle where he starts making a mess by tossing stuffed animals around.]

[Noah opens his mouth to say something about how the snowglobe doesn't fit in his pants quite right but - well

He seems to. Uh. Be doing him, so to speak. Noah says nothing, but he does follow behind with nothing else to do.]

Um. The base and the glass are separate, I think? So they turn the glass upside down and fill it with the glitter and water then seal the base on and flip it upside down to be rightside up.

[Noah also starts picking up the stuffed animals thrown around. :( They are soft and cuddly and don't deserve that kind of treatment.]

Oh. That makes sense.

[Just be glad he hasn't tired to eat any of them.]

What is all this stuff? What's it for?

[Stuffed animals are not for eating, they're cotton, that'd just get all stuck in your intestine and kill you.

Also a waste of a perfectly good stuffed animal.]

Well, uh. These are stuffed animals. You, um, you hug them.

[He's willing to risk it.]

What.

Have you been drinking guzzoline?

[He squishes one into a ball with his hand, the bunny that's being mangled does not look appreciative of this type of hug.]

Why would you do that?

[Why, dude. There is real food around. :(

Noah sets the other stuffed animals aside and moves to gently take the bunny from Morsov with a look of deep concern.]

Not like that. That's just- that's just squishing it.

You hug it like this.

[Noah shows. See? Hugs for the bunny.]

... It's to feel better.

[He doesn't know that. Maybe plush filling is delicious. Come on, I mean normally he eats bugs, it's probably an improvement.]

It doesn't feel anything. Its a dead soft thing.

[Noah siiiighs.]

No, it feels good for you.

[He holds the rabbit out to Morsov again.]

Try it. Gentler.

[He takes the bunny, staring between it and Noah like this might be some sort of trick. Fine. He kind of squashes it against himself with one hand, getting white clay on it and looking ridiculous, but at least he tried.]

What's supposed to happen?

You're supposed to feel more relaxed. Like hugging a person if you don't have a person.

... Why would I want to hug a person?

[He's done with this, tossing the rabbit to the side.]

[Noah makes a face, but goes to fetch the rabbit. He guesses if you don't hug at all, maybe stuffed animals don't make any sense.

So he just shrugs, trying to get the white clay off of it.]

What is this gunk?

War paint.

[He grins. See him all painted and proud?]

Not for you pup. You're too little to do war.

[He sizes Noah up, eying him like a resource, then shoves him in the shoulders. Hard.]

[Any retort Noah had about not wanting to do war is cut off.

The shove knocks him on his ass. Hard. Nothing breaks but he does kind of bite his lip pretty hard when he lands and that definitely bleeds unpleasantly, and his tailbone is absolutely going to be bruised and now he hurts wow thanks a lot asshole.

There's no fighting back, though. Just looking up at Morsov with sad eyes.]

Why'd you do that?

[Well that was pathetic. He was expecting to at least get kicked at.]

To see what you're worth.

Gonna end up a bloodbag if you're not careful. Full-life.

[He doesn't offer a hand up or anything, just cocks his head and watches him. ]

[Maybe if Morsov was like a literal monster... but he's just a person. Even if he's an asshole person, apparently. Noah is still just gonna take the abuse or remove himself from the situation.

He wipes at his lip.]

The fuck's a bloodbag?

You know, to keep the crew alive.

[Someone has no idea that he's not in the Wasteland anymore and Noah has no fucking clue what he's talking about.]

You don't wanna die hanging upside down bleedin' out do you?

Um, no, I would not like to die that way, I've already been beaten to death with a skateboard, being drained of blood upside down for - some ... weirdo vampire cult doesn't sound fun.

What's a vampire?

You look fine for being beaten to death? You heal fast?

[Your outlook as a bloodbag is looking better and better!]

Um, no, I died and got a new body...

Vampires like drink blood to stay alive. They aren't real though.

[Unlike ghosts, which clearly are.]

You can do that? I didn't get a new one!

[Well that's not fair! What'd you do that he didn't.]

Who would drink blood? Aqua-Cola is for drinking, blood is for spilling!

... I don't want to know what Aqua-Cola is, do I?

You don't know what Aqua-Cola is?

What do you drink in the Wasteland then? Piss?

Test Drive Meme #3

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okay this is the most adorable thread ever.

Stupidly adorable even

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YOU SAW NOTHING. ESPECIALLY NOT A BULLET BOY INSTEAD OF A WAR BOY.

suuure

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