dankmemes | Test Drive Meme #33

Entry tags:

!test drive

Test Drive Meme #33

Welcome to Hadriel's test drive, and thank you again for your interest in the game! As always, our reserves page is here, and our applications page is here! Reserves open June 24th, and apps are open July 1st. Please remember that there is an app cap of 20 apps.

Two quick points here as well:
1. Any thread made in Hadriel's test drive will be accepted as the sole Action Log sample in the application.
2. All threads made in the test drive can be considered game canon, either through handwaving or through a shared mental experience while coming through the Door!

Test drives will be broken up into specific god mini-events, during which your characters can see how well they fare under the watchful eye of one of the gods. Choose wisely or just simply pick 'em all, and have fun!

F E A R

SCENARIO ONE: WEARS HIGH HEELS WHEN SHE EXERCISES
[The Door brings in all that is chaotic and evil in the world. This may include you, may include the person next to you... and may include the monster behind you.

And this one is, well, particularly creepy. Especially if you dislike body horror, or spiders, or being eaten. This time, the Door has brought in Virginias, from the video game The Forest.

Virginias are rather disturbing-looking monsters, looking a bit like multiple bodies all squished together. They move quickly, they can charge and leap at you, and those creepy arms and legs hurt like hell. They also make skittering noises, if you want to be even more creeped out. So have fun with that!]

L O V E

SCENARIO TWO: YES, LIKE THAT
[Today, it's you time. You woke up this morning and you knew it was the perfect day to practice a little self-care. To put yourself first. To treat yourself. And that's what you're going to do!

Whether that means drinking too much, skipping out on unwanted obligations, telling people what you really think of them, or eating that last donut - you're looking after you now, and it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks! All that matters is that you're happy. So party on, and let's hope your fun doesn't get in the way of anyone else's life.

This is a mini version of our Love Yourself event this month.]

R A G E

SCENARIO THREE: JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS
[This morning you didn't wake up wanting to treat yourself. Oh, no. You woke up wanting to show your anger - to the world, to yourself, to anyone watching. You want to break shit, start fights, get into pointless internet arguments. They're wrong, after all.

So why not? Find a stray piece of wood and start smashing windows. Tell someone you don't like the way they're looking at you. Post something incendiary on ~~Twitter~~ Hadriel's network. And wait for the responding anger. That's what you want, right? Someone to face off against?

Let's just hope you don't go too far.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ he lowers his arm just enough to shoot peter a judgy af expression ] No one likes a party pooper, Parker. Who's the adult here? [ don't answer that. he looks around and says loudly: ] Didn't anybody ID at this shindig?

[ tony, this is your party ]

[The judgy look would probably have more impact if not for the fact that drunk Tony Stark here is blowing shit out of the sky for funsies. So, Peter just rolls his eyes. Because teenager.]

Dude, I'm just sayin'. Being old doesn't magically make doing a dangerous thing not dangerous.

Also, you invited me.

[Now did Tony actually invite him or is Peter just hoping he's too buzzed to remember whether or not he invited him? What mystery]

It means I know better than you. Years of experience. Wisdom of the ages.

C'mon, line her up.

Yeah, yeah.

[Old people, god. He grabs another empty bottle and pitches it into the air, not as hard as he could because they'd never see that bottle again, but it's out there. This was either going to end well or it wasn't, but no matter what happens the evening was bound to be entertaining.]

[ he whirls around, completely unnecessarily, dropping into a lunge and lining up the shot. miraculously, even in his inebriated state, it strikes home, and the bottle explodes.

however, peter's warnings prove to have some merit, as glass shards sort of go... everywhere, beginning to rain down on the crowd. there are some shrieks, people ducking for cover, drunken shocked laughter pealing out. ]

[See, Peter's always right. Except for most of the time, when he's not.

He watches the bottle just friggen explode, which would be cool if not for the glass shower. He makes kind of a wincing sound and raises his hands to his face in that 'oh nooo what have I doooone' sort of way, but nobody really seems to be hurt by the falling glass. Y'know, this time.]

Oh my God. Sorry! S-sorry, everyone, um. Check your drinks for glass? I guess? Jeez...

[Yeah maybe that's enough of these shenanigans. He turns back to Tony and just looks Done.]

Nice shot, Mr. Stark. Seriously, though? If you're gonna keep doing this, we need to maybe move away from people.

Why? They're loving it. Right? [ he raises a hand to the party-goers, a few who are drunk enough to clap and give him the validation he's looking for. he goes back to grab his own drink off the nearby counter, stirs it a bit and there's a slight clinking sound of either ice or glass hitting the side. he frowns and ... sets that back down, snapping his fingers ] Fresh round, on me.

Why? Because someone could get hurt?

[God this conversation feels so backwards.]

Look, you can still blow junk up, just wait until it's not over your guests anymore before you blast it. Are your parties always like this?

[ that's a good question. one he gives serious consideration, before admitting: ] They used to have more strippers.

[well okay that catches him a bit off guard. Peter just. pauses. and rubs his face. Mmmyep that's Tony Stark.]

Not... what I was expecting, but I'm also not surprised.

What can I say? I've grown as a person. [ he says, leaning one hand on the counter, miscalculating in his very inebriated state, and nearly slipping and falling on his ass.

he makes a less than smooth recovery and proceeds to act like that didn't happen ]

[Peter had started moving to catch him, but Tony manages to keep himself from hitting the floor like a champ. A very drunk champ who should probably sit down before he hurts himself.]

Uh huh, sure. I think you've had enough to drink, Mr. Stark. Just. Throwing that out there.

I don't remember polling the peanut gallery. If it's your bedtime, Parker, you can always go home. [ it's surprisingly dismissive, really. unfortunately for peter, he's not been blessed enough to witness a drunken tony all that often so... it's a little hard to realize that something is actually a bit off. ]

[He can only assume this is normal. For all Peter knows, Tony's just a dick when he's drunk.]

Hey man, you're the one over here falling over. I'm just trying to look out for you.

And your guests.

Who you blasted glass at.

[ i mean not... un... true either ]

Nobody got hurt. Right? [ raising his voice, he turns to the crowd: ] Nobody's hurt. [ he turns back to peter, forgetting to lower his volume again: ] See? Nobody's... everything's fine. [ and he's just gonna ... slump back against the counter and start sliding down ]

[Peter will just. Stand here and watch.

And judge silently. Just a little bit.]

...Do you want a glass of water or something?

If it has vodka in it.

[ tony, no ]

You're getting water. With water in it. Just. Sit there a minute.

[Peter's had some weird days lately, maybe a few terrible ones, but this was by far the stupidest. It was at least in his top five.

He leaves long enough to grab the poor, drunk bastard a glass of water, crouching next to him when he returns with it. He's just gonna hover here and make sure Tony doesn't spill the glass all over himself.]

Here, drink this before your liver dies.

[ fine, fine, he'll drink the water. and just... not go anywhere else right now. this is what self love looks like, tony stark style. pretty sad, really. ]

You know, I wouldn't have pegged you for all these strong maternal instincts.

[Mr. Stark no you're doing it very wrong. This is the wrongest way you could possibly love yourself.]

It's less maternal instincts, and more the fact that I'm the only sober guy in the room and can see that this is getting out of hand. So, I'm cutting you off, and if you have a problem with that I'll web your hands to your butt.

[He will absolutely do it]

[ he's a shrink's nightmare, what can he say

he purses his lips at the threat, brow furrowing, as he drunkenly mumbles: ]

This is the thanks I get for all the... high-grade mentoring...? Top notch, even. Priceless. [ he grudgingly gulps down more water ]

Kids these days.

[Peter almost regrets the fact that he didn't think to get his phone out to record whiny drunk Tony Stark. Almost.]

If I wasn't grateful on some level, I would have probably just left you here to pass out on the floor. And then drawn something on your face. You'll notice that I'm doing neither of these things.

You wanna get off the floor, or are you good down there for now?

Think I'm good. As floors go, this one's pretty ergonomic. [ not remotely true. he pats the ground next to him. ] C'mon. Have a seat.

I'm surprised you can even pronounce "ergonomic" right now.

[The last thing Peter wants to do right now is sit on this floor. There could be like. Glass shards and spilled booze on it.

He decides to just humor Drunky Stark though, and shifts around to sit on the floor next to him.]

Guess I've sat on worse floors.

[Probably not true.]

One time I sat on Kanye's floor. [ is that even remotely true? we just don't know ] I'd give this one a solid five.

You know... [ he swings the arm that's holding his glass of water around peter casually, gesturing down ] I bet I could build a voice-activated floor.

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