Never Have I Ever

[thechoiceisyours]

The "Never Have I Ever" Meme

Never Have I Ever, for those of you haven't heard of it, is a classic drinking game. Individuals take turns stating something they've never done, and everyone who has done it takes a drink. And then embarrassment and teasing and general fun is had by all.

HOW THIS WORKS

✔ Post with your character. This is your thread for as many 'Never have I ever' statements you'd like to make!
✔ Under your own thread, reply to yourself ICly with a statement of something your character has never done.
✔ Post as many 'nevers' as you like, but each 'never' should be it's own comment string, under your character's thread.
✔ Other characters reply to whichever 'nevers' they like, drinking or not drinking as appropriate.
✔ Optional rule: If you drink, you have to explain the situation in which the 'never' occurred!
✔ Another optional rule: Forced honestly is okay, if you have a character that wouldn't talk/share anything.
✔ Threadjacking is encouraged! Particularly if it's to make fun of someone for their answer/drinking.
✔ HAVE FUN PEOPLE

Comments

[retiredfromhell]

Uh huh.

Well I believe your friend Dean could use a encouragement to indulge himself. Perhaps you could ask him to give you some pointers?

[strangelic]

As to how to win this game?

cw: SO NSFW

[retiredfromhell]

No as in how to self-pleasure ... ashing the candle, Bleeding the weasel, bleedin the weed, buffing the banana, bopping the baloney, burping the worm, choking the chicken, cleaning your rifle, corking the bat, cranking the shank, cuffing the carrot, fisting your mister, flogging your dog, floggin the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the log, flute solo, jerkin'the gherkin, looping the mule, manual override, painting the pickle, pocket pinball, pocket pool, polishing the banister, polishing the rocket, pounding your flounder, pumping the python, roping the pony, spanking the monkey, teasing the weasel, tossing the turkey, walking the dog, whipping the willy, wonking your cronker, yanking the crank.

lmaooo amazing I love it

[strangelic]

Why do so many of those comparisons involve animal abuse?

The Urban dictionary strikes again!

[retiredfromhell]

Honestly?

I'm not sure I want to think too closely on it. Something about sheep and shepherds and just, can we not?

[strangelic]

I'm still not entirely sure what you're suggesting, or what Dean has to do with my...monkey.

[retiredfromhell]

And people wonder why angels don't procreate.

Alright, here we go, take notes if you need to, lil bro.

Setting aside all the emotional baggage mortals like to load up in the act, consensual orgasms are a good thing for mortals. They relieve stress, burn calories, release all sorts of happy chemicals in the brain.

In other words, it feels good.

Orgasms work with or without a partner and once they discover them mortals tend to like to enjoy them, if a partner isn't available, they do it for themselves.

I can say, with a level of certainty that your friend Dean is probably an expert at burping his own worm. Have him show you a few ... tricks of the hand, so to speak. It'll be a grand exercise for you both.

[strangelic]

I...see.

[ No, he doesn't. Well. No, that's not true, he understands all the mechanical stuff, because he's been a great observer of humanity for a very long time, and that's how God made them, but what he doesn't get is-- ]

I understand that it would be very instructive in my case, but I'm not sure what you think Dean might get out of it.

[retiredfromhell]

Why, an orgasm of his own of course.

Believe me, he could use one. Actually he could use about twenty.

[strangelic]

Couldn't he achieve that without my assistance?

[ You're very coy for the actual devil, Lu, spit it out. ]

[retiredfromhell]

It's better with a friend.

[ If he has to break out diagrams ... ]

You could help him even, lend a hand.

[strangelic]

There would be a point where it ceased being masturbation.

I've known Dean for several years, and he's shown only a predilection for members of the opposite gender. I'm sure he hasn't even looked once in my direction.

Well...perhaps once, when I showed him my wings. [ If he were talking to anyone else they'd think that was a euphemism. ]

[retiredfromhell]

Wings are an entirely different matter, Castiel. Mortals go insane if they see mine, hence another good reason to have burned them.

[ But mostly it was so Amenadiel would stop trying to use them as leverage. ]

As for the rest, you should talk to Dean.

[strangelic]

I don't think you know anything about him that I don't.

[ Arrogance. It's true. ]

[retiredfromhell]

Oooohhh, so then you know about his liking to wear ladies pink satin panties that do nothing to cover up his ... monkey?

[strangelic]

...

......

Pardon?

[retiredfromhell]

I walked in on a most fascinating dream of his, it's almost had a very enjoyable ending for both Dean and myself.

[strangelic]

I don't think I experienced that dream. I think I'd have remembered it.

You are the deceiver. Why should I believe you?

[retiredfromhell]

Castiel, think about it for a moment. Have I ever lied?

Perhaps not the entire truth at a time but a direct, fabrication?

[ Was he that different in this other world? ]

If you'd like I can run down the placement of all moles and birthmarks.

[strangelic]

No, you've never lied.

[ Which means he should believe it, straight up, but-- ]

I suppose since it was a dream, there need not be anything to it.