where the gods are made up and the murder doesnt matter

[cashlin]

THE RELATIONSHIP TABLE MEME




do the thing

using the chart below, list all the characters your character would consider dating/becoming allies with/befriending!

to make more columns, copy the two middle rows beginning at (tr bgcolor) and stopping before the (/tbody)-- aka including the (/tr).

list pros and cons.

post it here.

react ic or ooc, make more for the people you missed, whatever you feel.

certain disaster.

<table width="100%" cellspacing="5" cellpadding="1" border="0"><tbody><tr bgcolor="#bbbbff"><td width="20%">NAME</td><td width="40%">PROS</td><td width="40%">CONS</td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#ffffff"><td>Character one!</td><td>Pros</td><td>Cons</td></tr> <tr bgcolor="#cccccc"><td>Character two!</td><td>Pros</td><td>Cons</td></tr></tbody></table>

Comments

lilith

[cashlin]

lmk if you want her thoughts on your character if they aren't on here B)

NAME	PROS	CONS
Maketh Tua	maketh, you poetic noble land mermaid drank me under a table and that is IMPRESSIVE very capable, A+ shot great friend where did this mother henning come from	what are feelings???? also we bicker sometimes lets not make this more complicated lilith okay
Jack (not “Handsome” but still handsome)	cool dude, also a great friend that whole ruggedly handsome camo chic thing common interests; enjoys murder and explosions can be relied upon not an asshole	bros b4 hos no hetero
Axton	cute also a Vault hunter v much an ally sense of humor awkward in an endearing kind of way	still awkward mentory feelings? he looks up to me that's Weird
Rhys	cute in the way that a puppy that's stuck upside down because it can't roll over by itself is cute	literally everything else
Jack (“Handsome”, but not handsome)	opportunity to get him to drop his guard and then kick him in the dick	literally fucking everything else
Fiona	hey I just met you and this is crazy but you saved my ass so call me maybe?	(actually no you're cool and we should be friends but maybe we should talk first)
Krieg	ally....????	banging a psycho sounds like the worst possible idea probably not what 'strip the flesh' means
Those Cute Guys I Met My First Day Here (Kaz and Sam)	attractive helpful	what were those guys' names again isn't not-an-asshole jack friends with one of them? shit fuck uh.
Gren	none at all	do you wanna fuckin go meet me behind the bar bro
Cullen	handsome??? can (presumably) fight	Buzz McKillington no fun at all NEVER MIND isn't he like married or something anyway
all of the teenagers	you are all adorable	but also i'm like 27 no

Re: lilith

[wormintheglass]

Banging a psycho can be highly rewarding. Also you needn't feel bad when they make it necessary to shoot them in the face.

[liquid_serpent]

How dare you not include me! [Is insulted.]

[murderpotato]

Accurate tbh

[wormintheglass]

NAME	PROS	CONS
Johanna	I just want to swallow her whole like an extra salty tequila shot	Who cares?
Rey	she's beautiful and she soothes me	she soothes me
Emily	Like an angry kitten	A bit young
Nick	so adorably rude and angry	also too young
Maine	doesn't talk back	does that armour even come off though?
Captain Jack	attractive, self-aware, conveniently located	we're far too alike, let's keep this platonic
Maketh Tua	needs to be unbent	but is unbending more hard work than I'm presently up for though
Firo (firmly platonic)	smart, fierce and naive	none found yet
Pell (also platonic)	adorable, intelligent, powered and rather sheltered	probably dangerously perceptive
Sam	I want to hang him on my wall just to look at. Preferably shirtless.	too thoughtful. would want Proper Relationship. with conversations and feelings and stuff. Also too young.

[cashlin]

im cracking up at Sam and Johanna omg

GET IT BIANCA...

[unfollowing]

LIKE AN ANGRY KITTEN that's so beautiful

[circumitus]

...Am soothing?

[Help this does not compute Bianca why you do this.]

Maketh Tua

[mismanagement]

NAME	PROS	CONS
Lilith	Epic drinking buddies Good friends already Duo most likely to make the TFLN top ten list	Would probably make hungover pancake time awkward also huge control freak + free spirit = arguments that set buildings on fire
Henry Percy (platonic)	A+ drinking buddy good friend ally Pragmatic	pretty much the same flaws
Rey	Good ally Shared alcohol that one time Currently conspiring together Strangely attractive????	Hello self-sacrifice and bad decisions!
Emily	...well it wouldn't be boring	Literally everything else
Newt (platonic)	Unofficially adopted Adorable Intelligent Lets Maketh floof his hair	????
Chris (platonic)	Smart Caring Looks out for people	Possibly corrupted your worldview sorry
Bianca	Intelligent Sharp Attractive	Has excellent poker face
Cashmere	Sense of humor	A tad murder-happy

[wormintheglass]

In what universe does a good poker face go on the con list, dear heart?

[cashlin]

Oh, c'mon, we're not that bad. I've only intentionally set buildings on fire so far, which is ok, right?

[unfollowing]

That's the last time I share my tequila with you if that's how you feel.

[circumitus]

Well then.

[thechoiceisyours]

It's okay, you were late to the world-view corrupting by a few months so don't worry.

[thechoiceisyours]

Chris is a huge nerdy puppy who is dating Ashley, so everyone other than her is platonic only~

NAME	PROS	CONS
Ashley	Smart Super pretty Dork Puts up with me Can trust her with anything	Am I actually supposed to put something here
Emily	Badass Nerd in denial Can draw emojis Partner in coffee crime	Could you stop fighting with my friends Even though I guess neither time was actually your fault Also could you be a little less unpredictable Thanks
Josh	Known each other like forever Creative Not boring	Dude Seriously dude I would've had like five more pros to list Except everything's kind of thrown off now
Jessica	Friend from home	Don't actually know each other all that well
Nick	Fun to talk to Didn't let me get eaten by a wendigo Mutual saltiness toward Canada Get along on pretty much everything	Can you just not sometimes Needs some chill
Maketh	Bonding over super shitty life situations Nice to me even when our previous conversation sucked Trustworthy	Also needs chill
Newt	Really nice person Smart Good ideas	Being the annoying overprotective friend is my thing I'm not used to someone else doing it at me
Johanna	Clever Pretty nice when she wants to be Don't tell her I said that	Might be slightly murderous
Rhys	Nerdbro	Somehow I feel like There might a countdown to him getting into trouble
Cashmere	Funny Easy to talk to Team blond	Possibly too easy-going to be true
Bob	Really nice Awesome dog Team not get eaten by gross gelatin monsters	Um...

ic or ooc? we just don't know

[unfollowing]

Badass - damn right
Nerd in denial - lol no
Can draw emojis - kind of
Partner in coffee crime - hella

Could you stop fighting with my friends - no
Even though I guess neither time was actually your fault - damn right
Also could you be a little less unpredictable - no
Thanks - yw

emily

[unfollowing]

Like all of these are platonic because she's Devoted to Matt okay. (Somebody tell him that, it's really important that he knows how devoted to him she is, thank u.) If I missed someone or if you want Em's opinion on your character, lemme know! Also, I'm not canon familiar with Lucifer, but that wouldn't change Emily's take on him as I put it in the table.

NAME	PROS	CONS
ashley	smart nice hair doesn't get in my way	will throw you under the bus so fast it'll give you whiplash scares too easily no backbone too shy
chris	codes me emojis knows his coffee good sense of humor listens to me good with a gun super nerdy	super nerdy grow a spine stop making friends with assholes
josh	great sense of humor extremely chill most days tends not to bother me rich (does that count here) my wendibro i guess	unhinged af sometimes probably hates me
jessica	hot good fashion sense smarter than she looks would kill for her friends gets me	backstabbing whore gets me
maketh tua	badass hot in that 'person in a uniform' kind of way taught me how to fucking destroy someone good taste in drinks also a wendibro i guess?	punched me REALLY fucking hard has no sense of humor needs some chill
newt	nice i guess sewing partner if we ever have time to ask for supplies	disappears a lot but whatever too nice, don't fully trust him
kazuhira miller	polite speaks my languages	barely know the guy
nick rivenna	literally none	racist bitch
cashmere	nice name gets it	barely know her
motochika	plays the shamisen	otherwise a complete stranger
pellaz cevarro	sweetie likes nice clothes appreciates good tequila	don't know hm well enough to trust him sorry not sorry
lucifer morningstar	polite GOOD TASTE IN CLOTHES confirmed this is not hell	literally the devil
bianca	looks classy sings well	kind of unsettling? idk she's just kinda weird really dramatic
kate galloway	nice hair knows sarcasm	take a shower
lilith	???	has no appreciation for fashion
koda	kinda hot kind of adorable how lost he is seems sweet his grandfather invented the wheel	take. a. shower. wash. your. hair.

Re: emily

[dedikated]

um wut u sayin sweat is like a shower they are both water

jessica

[untowards]

NAME	PROS	CONS
mike	hot funny definitely big downstairs tried to save her life ^^ a bunch stolen from em so 10 points to jess	not here so sucks to suck
em	knows her better than anyone way hotter than jess gives her credit for also hotter than she was pre-jess so +1 ego point smart af so good with the schemes has her back massive bitch	can't get over the whole stupid mike thing thinks she's too good for jess jess isn't sure she rolls that way massive bitch
josh	dtf?? she thinks?? kind of hot probably kind of a freak ^ in a good way	might be a freak in a bad way also prob still low-key mad about sisters says 'bone zone' might be gay
ashley	cleans up good kind of cute probably down to experiment doesn't bitch too much	basically married to chris ^ so he'd prob want in ^^ n o
pell	not bad looking super helpful can heal you with his mind??	pretty sure he's gay
glacius	strong heroic	made of ice who are we kidding also no

tell me if you want your character added! c: i'm blanking for some reason

[thechoiceisyours]

No.

Like, not even just one part of it, but a whole bunch of stuff.

[cowardley]

Hey, what's wrong with Chris? [ girlfriend on the defense. also, list not entirely inaccurate. ]

Carlisle "No Friends" Longinmouth - just assume these are all platonic, at best

[tongueamok]

NAME	PROS	CONS
Firo	-convenient timing - didn't leave me to die - already owe him some amends	- already owe him some lots of amends - presumably a godless heathen
Glacius	- I am already familiar with dealing with ice giants - seems nicer than Algidus somehow - defended me from box monsters, so that's good	- an ice giant - probably as temperamental as his possible twin - would be nice if he'd stop making me feel small
Miriam	- has a dog - seems nice enough - familiar with technology - has a dog	- a little chatty - asks a lot of questions - the dog might be a bear in disguise
Liquid Snake	- [indecipherable scribbles, then finally] is a person	- cannot be bothered to wear proper attire when addressing people - brazen and stubborn - cannot discern between abhorrence and attraction - probably a godless heathen

Merlwyb Bloefhiswyn

[bloodbrine]

ALL THE PLATONIC FOREVER. \o/ If I forget anyone feel free to dropkick me in the comments tyty
(For the sake of not being TL;DR just pretend the following is in FFXIV-esque archaic lingo and w/e. Also because I am a potato with a keyboard and hella lazy.)

NAME	PROS	CONS
Haurchefant de Fortemps	Actually my height thank the twelve Friendly as all get out 10/10 would wine binge with, best roomie To conclude, yes	Maybe a bit too friendly... Like is that even a con Idek he's an Ishgardian too I guess -1 point Con is there is no con hdu
Kazuhira Miller	Shuttershades slowly descend Baller glasses my bro All military and stuff too I like that shit	Slow Like, the slowest walker You need bottle rockets attached to your shoes, my dude Also salty af if he walks into you jussayin
Jack Sparrow	Pirate pride aw yeh Also boozing Also also yelling super dumb shanties A+ best singing Gold teeth, dude. GOLD SWIVING TEETH.	Wrong lyrics tho I mean really High Barbary Jack pls Everyone knows it's Low Moraby Also, pirate. Sober!Merlwyb hates those nerds.
Mitsuhide Akechi	Pretty polite for a sword swinging maniac Kind of military? I guess? Like there was some army talk so I guess so	Sword Swinging Maniac® Like really dude You assume someone has a gun and whip out a katana pls Don't bring knives to a gunfight ok
Motochika Chōsokabe	Like 90000% a bard I swear Bards are cool Also seems like a chill dude would totes hang with Basically Jimi Hendrix w/ a Shamisen	Have you seen that shirt gurl Totally last Umbral Era, my bro
Handsome Jack	Amusing Like a whiny little kid w/ not walking down stairs And totally wants to be carried That kind of almost endearing amusement	Look what I'm saying is he's a big baby ok Dude man up for real

[cashlin]

MERL IS SO HILARIOUSLY INCORRECT ABOUT JACK HOLY SHIT JKLGKLSDF

Rey

[circumitus]

Pretend that this isn't super late.

NAME	PROS	CONS
Cecily Trevelyan	smart. also hates the gods. potential ally. possibly trustworthy.	don't know her very well. hard to say if trustworthy.
Cibo	pretty. skilled. good fighter. also a potential ally.	none.
Rhys	he reminds me of someone.	he reminds me of someone.
Kazuhira Miller	military man. potential leader. didn't seem too bad about the whole "being partially synthetic" thing.	not sure where we stand because of the whole "being partially synthetic" thing.
Nick Valentine	detective. must be sharp. seems good at what he does. killed some boxes for me. nice.	perhaps too nice. is a synth. feel bad for treating him like shit because of it.
Sharon da Silva	she's all right. ally. seems like she cares.	seems like she cares.
Firo Prochainezo	from the past. that's pretty cool. doesn't trust the gods. even cooler. possible ally?	none yet.
Lilith	attractive. can make fire. powerful. redhead.	redhead.
Maketh Tua	persuasive. also attractive? co-conspirator. caring.	too much caring. major control issues.
Bianca	smart. attractive. like the way she talks. sings really well.	seems melancholy.
Glacius	honorable. noble. dependable. also an alien. that's neat. ally?	none.