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Edited 2016-10-11 21:19 (UTC)
001. "falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person"
002. "How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts"
003. "MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM"
002. "How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts"
003. "MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM"
001. "Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch"
002. "Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold."
003. "I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I."
002. "Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold."
003. "I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I."
1. He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
2. and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
3. I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
4. Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
2. and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
3. I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
4. Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i. ► Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
ii. ► Sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down.
iii. ► Waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my day if that's what you're getting at.
iv. ► And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space.
v. ► ( text him! )
1. i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
2. seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
3. You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
2. seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
3. You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Edited 2016-10-11 20:49 (UTC)
I COULD TOTALLY DO THAT IF I HAD A PROPER LAB HERE
01. I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
02. You were humming Mission Impossible when we ran away.
03. I wish I could take a screenshot of how things look from my eyeballs right now.
04. Text him!
02. You were humming Mission Impossible when we ran away.
03. I wish I could take a screenshot of how things look from my eyeballs right now.
04. Text him!
good song, appropriate theme
there's not enough paint to make a picture out of it
there's not enough paint to make a picture out of it
1. Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
2.we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
3.That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
4.Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
5.So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
2.we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
3.That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
4.Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
5.So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
dooooo it i BELIVE IN YOU
also do you want your glasses back or????
also do you want your glasses back or????
1. its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
2. I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
3. I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
2. I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
3. I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
1. some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. everyone has their talents
2. it's called life, you pretentious bitch. grow up
3. i don't think i used nearly enough fucks in my text to convey the level of fuck him
4. [text her]
2. it's called life, you pretentious bitch. grow up
3. i don't think i used nearly enough fucks in my text to convey the level of fuck him
4. [text her]
Edited 2016-10-11 22:16 (UTC)
1. someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
2. A+ Viking dick
3. I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
4. [text her]
2. A+ Viking dick
3. I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
4. [text her]
Edited 2016-10-11 22:18 (UTC)
i. ► I'm not good at living.
ii. ► Why the fuck is there a crow in the kitchen
iii. ► I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
iv. ► We just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to talk about your feelings, isn't it?
v. ► ( text her! )
STOP DOING YOUR GODDAMN TRAINING EXERCISES IN MY HOUSE
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